First, catch your music.
Glass mason jars are generally good, and seal most frequencies in tight, though very high notes test their mettle. Tupperware is serviceable but may pop open, for example, on public transport.
Find a place where there's music of some kind (town hall, city street, the shower). Moving very slowly, so as not to disrupt the air which carries the notes, get as close as you can to the source of the music. Hold the jar open in one hand, the lid in the other, and spread your arms wide.
With long fluid scooping gestures, gather the music from the instrument, speaker or mouth. Rhythmically, this should feel like paddling a canoe. Get up nice and close to preserve fidelity, and don't worry- musicians from pianists to opera singers expect this during all their performances, it's part of their job*.
Make sure you seal your receptacle tightly. Properly refrigerated, music will last for months.
Repeat with as many jars as you desire, but be considerate of others waiting.
Now you have your music, find someone to break your heart. This can be an existing partner, or maybe you could try asking that girl from the book store along to quiz.
Find a completely dark space like a cupboard or abandoned hill top gunnery tunnel system. Wait until midnight. Drape a large towel over the jar and your head.
Smash the jar with a hammer. Keep your eyes SHUT- music will do them no good at all.
Hear the music with your ears, one ear at a time.
*Careful of the teeth
Part of the Reddish Brown Series. Also available: How to Look at a Painting
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