Bandwagon Column: Things To Say When You Didn't Like The Show

Things To Say When You Didn’t Like The Show.

 
As you will be aware, there is in place a lengthy or indefinite moratorium on constructive criticism for any new theatre performance. In the meantime, the following remarks are allowable and may be helpful in the foyer:
 


You made that yourselves, right? It was really devised-feeling. 

I liked you in it.

 I liked that you were in it. 

I really liked the bit where (mention intensely specific action). It was quite an interesting stage image.

You guys were all obviously really, really committed. 

You used the space. 

Great energy! I could tell you were all having a lot of fun. 

We were meant to be bored, that was part of it, eh? 

I liked how there were no (name something absent, like swastikas, or dead babies, etc) in it.

I’ve never seen you act before (no follow-up.)

You know what? It reminded me of (talk about something else). 

I’m not really a theatre person, you know, so I guess a lot of it just went over my head.

You looked really pretty. 

That costume looked great on you. 

Who did the design? 

I like how it didn't have to mean anything. 

So are your parents coming to see this? 

Do you get paid for this? No? Yeah that makes sense. 

Oh hey! Hey! I've got to get a bus!

This is really cool, what you’ve done to the foyer.  
 

REMINDER: You must, by no means, tell the performers what you actually think. Who do you think they make this stuff for?